RECOVERY: THE PEACE THAT HEALS

THE HEART AND HEALING

CFIDS Chronicle: Fall 1997

Love heals.

I know this is not a news flash, but it really does. I'm not talking about finding the perfect mate, rather the love that begins to flow once all the obstacles to the present have been removed. Healing takes place in the present, so this is where we should be if we want to heal. But how do we get there?

How do we bring 100% of ourselves to the present moment? To do this, we must resign and surrender, then we must hear the heart and follow it. Some people think resigning and surrendering means waving a white flag and sinking into despair.

Resignation is not "giving up" It is giving in without giving up. It is letting go of that part of yourself that has been desperately grasping for wellness. The ego is usually the culprit saying, I will be well by next fall so that I may do this or that, or I have to get well so that I can go back to work.

Resignation is letting go of the healing schedule, but keeping the hope that someday you will heal completely. It's saying "Well I here I am and that's OK." And meaning it. Not resigning to the present reminds me of the story about the monkey who stuck his hand in a jar to fetch a banana, but once the banana was in his hand the monkey was unable to pull his clenched fist out of the bottle.

Holding on to future dreams with time deadlines or ideas of how you used to be is like holding on to that banana and trying to retrieve your health. We cannot get our health out of the jar if we are holding onto wants or regrets that are attached to other times. As long as we are wishing for this or that in our lives, we are trapped.

We are not in the healing present. If only he would let go, pulling his hand out of the jar of past and future, he would be led by his heart in the present to a bowl filled with much tastier fruit. We must love our crippled bodies and sidetracked lives without conditions or expectations. When we resign to our predicament and surrender to our hearts and to the miracles that make up the present, magical things begin to happen.

We become as little children, following our intuition without question or fear. "Silly" ideas that spring from the heart begin to sound fun. In following them, our attention is trained in the present. After there is complete resignation to the present and to your state of health, most of the standards and expectations of our culture no longer seem relevant, much less important.

We are free to see a sunset for the first time, to find peace in the changing of the seasons or count the number of blooming dogwood trees in the park. When we are in the moment these things become all-important. The heart opens up. Only the heart is capable of healing all things in our lives and the heart only lives in the present.

Falling into the moment happens when we let go of how we think our lives should be. After everything has been released, expectations, past hates, secret wishes with time tables attached, only then may we begin to explore the present moment uninhibited and unencumbered. There is no such thing as failure in the present. It is a very safe place to be. It is a very childlike place and it is where the heart of healing resides.

Resignation is letting go of the healing schedule but keeping the hope that someday you will heal completely.

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